Festivals may be all about the artists when you purchase your ticket but when you’re at the venue, sweaty, alone, and hungry, nothing matters more than the food.
If you’re feeling dehydrated
Let’s be real, those watermelon slices always make for great Instagrams, but they actually rehydrate you too. Who knew it right? The fruit is made up of 92 percent water so if you don’t feel like trekking to the water refill station and your belly is rumbling, grab a slice.
If you’re just really fucked up
There’s a high chance that you will be out of it all weekend and may need sobering up so you can make it to the afternoon. Regenerate with everyone’s favorite – the pizza slice – there’s a high likelihood that it could just save you.
If you have the munchies
If you are just so darn hungry because of all that weed you have been smoking, eat anything. Waffles, crepes, burgers, noodles – really festival food trucks have been set up just for you and any craving that you may have. It may be hard to comprehend what to get or what to do but the odds are in your favor and it’s high-ly likely that you’ll enjoy whatever you put in you mouth, unless it’s a dirty hippies dick.
If you’ve gotten separated from your friends and you need some comfort
Sugar, how you look so fine? If you are down in the dumps because you’ve lost your friends, maybe scraped your knees, and are just generally feeling like a stray puppy, head for the dessert vans. There’s no better comfort than ice cream or chocolate (a proven mood lifter). Treat yourself – festival life can be tough.
If you’re hung-over and need saving
Grease is the word if you’re hung over. Don’t listen to those people who tell you to drink juice and water. Head over to any Asian or Mexican truck for some refueling. Make sure not to get anything too spicy. That wouldn’t be fun with the DADS (day after drinking shits).
If you’re rolling too hard
There’s a good chance that you wont want to eat. So head to a water fountain to rehydrate. Don’t drink too much water though, it could kill you.
If you’re just so darn hungry
There’s a good chance you will feel like you could eat anything but think strategically – you need to get something that will fill you up and keep you full. Look around for a fat burger with all the trimmings, a Greek gyro, or a burrito. They may not be a whole lot, but they will keep you going as you dance your ass off.
If you’re broke
Festival food is not cheap. So if you’re not high enough to eat something you find on the floor, you ideally need either something that costs pennies, or just carbs to hopefully last you through the day. Fries and churros are the way to go for those looking for some calories at a low cost.
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